as i journey through these days

As I journey through these days, I have been listening to the stories of others, immersing myself in the mosaic of their perspectives. I am struck by our collective quest for validation. Observing how people, be it subtly or boldly, justify their existence. This endless pursuit, if unchecked, becomes burdensome, reflecting my own tendencies. I'm not here to judge, but it saddens me that we find ourselves constantly seeking approval for our intrinsic goodness. This need for validation becomes emotionally draining, a competitive endeavour that insults our true essence.

After such encounters, I often reflect on my own focus. In a world defined by constant transitions, it has been essential to find sustenance and substance to stay grounded. In a landslide of words and written statements, I ask myself: why do I strive to express anything so intimate that it defies articulation? When I say "God," it signifies more than a religious concept.
Beyond the idea that simply discussing something makes it true, I speak of 'God' from a perspective that is both personal and impersonal, an embodied feeling and a profound spiritual force that sustains my breath in this realm of birth and death.

Over time and with guidance, I have moved away from the theatre of an authoritative deity. The sense of that authority has woven itself into my mind, often continuing to play out unnoticed. However, embracing Love and the quality of an inner voice that speaks more profoundly of God feels truer and more important to me. Why? Because I am captivated by the freedom this realisation brings. It's a silent contract needing no signature, as inherent as breathing. This freedom is innate, instinctual, and instructional.

I observe many people seeking permission to be themselves, lingering in a metaphorical waiting room, burdened by their own self-judgments and apologizing for moral "sins" shaped by karmic circumstances. This leads me to question why I speak of God or Consciousness as if it is an external entity, as though it is hidden outside in the rain, instead of recognizing that "I Am" the personification of God. Over time, I have quietly wished to assert Love’s attitude, claiming a right that transcends dogma and stifling morality, aligning instead with the natural order of biological law. Now, having fulfilled my fundamental biological purpose as a parent, built close companionships, and found harmony with others, I understand that the next natural stage of my existence, towards death, is appropriate. I also see a basic simplicity amidst the complexity of humanity, and perhaps this attitude can serve as simple inspiration for a simple being.

I recall the words of Beloved Yanchiji on ‘Divine Arrogance” and the humbleness needed to transcend egoic habits while celebrating the love of Inherent Sacredness. Understanding and feeling that everything we are is Life’s Will can be inspiring but also confusing when we aren't allowed to feel and think that in our own voice or through our own expression.

I often ponder the designs of light prisms, the subtlety of ether, and the density of diamonds that allow reflections to transform me into both poet, mourner, animal and civilized human. When that kind of paradoxical submission happens, I feel at home. There seems to be space to feel gentle, tender, vital and clear.

Slowly this compels me to feel gratitude by observing the lightness of being human in every situation I encounter. How these situations unfold remains uncertain, and that uncertainty invites calm and patience. I understand that my life's karmic path is another expression of life 'doing itself,' but the real question is whether I am conscious of that. Am I awake to it? That is the true test, one that can be engaged with in each moment. Practically, all situations call for primal mindfulness; a constant, inherent sense of Self.

For thousands of years, society has deemed God's divinity inaccessible to the ordinary person, relegating us to childish musings on how to be loved. This sense of safety needs to be relinquished to the realm of childhood, where it was essential for our security. Only then can we step into the next stage of our humanity. Because I could not fully integrate this understanding during childhood, I continued seeking acknowledgment of being loved. My mind's inherent rights to know and feel what I truly am became irrelevant. As an adult, I failed to grasp the sacred message of God, that by my very birth, I am already divine. I created this demotion and became entangled in its illusion.
God is present in my seemingly mistaken choices, pain, and pleasure. It manifests in my language, both hidden and evident in the culture and society around me. Over the years, I've experienced many doubts, mostly tied to my sense of worthiness, even so they have all been part of God's will. By relating to the natural God as me, an abundance of creative rituals flows through me, requiring no verbal or thought expression. Still, I enjoy verbalizing and expressing when it feels right. Celebrating the sacred translates to realising that I am already enough, that I am already love, regardless of the unusual or basic situations.

I will always meet you in the space between the land and the sea, my friend, a place where words like understanding, thought, emptiness, or fullness don’t exist, yet there is a sense that all is well. It is there that God and I merge as One. I continue to tread a path that leads me around bends, up and down hills, crooked corners, and through alleys. Some mosaics along the way are dull, others bright, but I now see there is only One path, a path with One Me.
And this One path is truly exceptional.

Arohananda