We must Awaken, move beyond, grow out of the sleep of righteous belief/sense of an exclusive separate independent self-identity, the one we call “I”
Yes, you have heard from me many times in endless different ways that the root of our suffering, our search to be loved, to feel complete, to be acknowledged is created by our own sense of being an exclusive or separate from Life independent Self.
No matter how many spiritual beliefs, practices, thinking, working out, trying to achieve Love or Peace, it is all still motivated within the prior sense involvement of being an enclosed being, an independent from Life being self.
The very root cause of our unease, our suffering, our “love” dilemma, our relationship control struggles and constant working-out is motivated by our own sensation, mood, thoughts, as a separate enclosed independent self, fixated with its experiential history. Its now disconnected from its Soul, disconnected from Life point of view.
All our efforts, spiritual, relationship, secular, political, religious are motivated by and for the preservation and glamorization of the bodily based (not Life based or Spirit based) separate feeling self. By our own inner action, with attention fixated with the physical experiential history evidence of our bodily existence, the separate form Life one, the now self-enclosed one, we are creating self-consciousness, unease, emotional abandonment – the root cause of our motivation, our search for answers, a relief, our own salvation.
However, when You truly understand this, you begin to see very clearly the search has failed even before it begins.
We must Awaken, move beyond, grow out of the sleep of righteous belief/sense of an exclusive separate independent self-identity, the one we call “I” This must be the case if we are to Truly be in Love, in Life.
As long as we cling to this independent, this action of Life-isolated self-identity, this concept of our-self…..we are then always most fundamentally trying to control our own conceptual construct of self and trying to control others conceptual ideas of self, always trying to control everything in order to protect and maintain the concept we have of our-self.
The conceptual mind is merely a knowing mind. We know our-self by a concept of how we think we should be, and how others want us to be. From this point of view, then merely knowing about Love, talking about Love, becomes a self-preserving moral righteousness.
In this way, everyone is endlessly chatting, comparing, concepts, looking for consoling remedies, exchanging experiences, etc.
In which case we are obsessively caught, fixated, traumatized and disfigured in the midst of all relationships, events, circumstances.
Our conversations, our relationships, our inter-actions with each other become the constant exchange of merely experience with all the underlying self-invested energy behind it and this is extremely tiring to do and listen to.
Our usual conversations with each other have an underlying energy of want, of expectation, of control for a required performance, for something to happen, rather than an expression, verbally or by action, of our already inter-connectedness, our feeling Intimacy, our energy of Habitation in Life, rather than habitation in the sense of an always threatened separate self “I”
Our conversations, most generally, are motivated by an unconscious or justified familiar feeling need to be confirmed, seen, acknowledged, wanted, needed, significant, valued. All the qualities we have not earned in our self for our self.
We are constantly fighting for our own survival, our own significance disguised as the argument for Love, for relationship. But, it is always heavily weighted, burdened with discontent, insecurity, self-doubt, need to prove and want of approval.
Our experience does not Enlighten us to Our Inherent Un-conditioned Soul-Full Self Being-ness. Experience does not break us out of the mood, the sensation the fixation with our own sense of a separate enclosed self. It does not make us Wise or Truly Happy, Free or even Intelligent.
In fact, the seeker, the one always looking outside of her or himself is the habit of experiential interruption of Real Self-Understanding.
The inter-personal that I have spoken about, tried to reveal, for the sake of Radical Self Understanding is, most fundamentally, the endeavor to exchange and know and accommodate each other’s conceptual ideas of self and life and Love.
Inter-personal means our effort, our motivation our drive for independence and relationship. The drive for independence – meaning to set ourselves apart from Nature, from Life, from Spirit, the very Fabric our bodies are interwoven in and have their life in.
This fearful drive for independence that we feel obliged to obey, to need and demand from life burdens us and each other with the expectation to compensate, to expiate our own discomfort and the discomfort of others.
In fact what I am referring to as the inter-personal is actually the playing out of the inter-conceptual as the means, the method of the working-out of each other and trying to arrive at a place of understanding Life, of such an unfathomable mystery as our self and all existence. Life It-Self represents such a frustration to the egoic or mind contained self.
In which case the mind adamantly wants to create the conceptual in order to have the illusion of control, to exercise control, justify control, argue for control.
It all becomes down to control.
The inter-personal demands are our unintelligent effort to outwit Nature.
This is not so surprising when we understand our society, our cultural identities. The society we shape and create is a direct reflection of our ideas, sensations, thinking, concepts of our self. If we have a concept of Life, of relationship based on our egoic sense, our sense of a separate self-enclose and therefore threatened self, then we create a society, a culture that supports that and reinforces that. This, of course, creates all the divisions of gross social disparities.
Conventional spiritual practice, techniques and so forth is very similar to exoteric religion and the conditioning instructions of society, in that it is all communicated in the way, the form, of prescribing ideas, concepts, attitudes, ideologies, dogmas and behavior for the control of the results of our conditioning and adaptation to a worldly identification that creates a chronic disconnection in us between our Very Self and Life which in turns generates a deep insecurity within us and thus a fear and dis-order within us.
We are not initiated into bodily Life by early significant others who are in the disposition of self-forgetting ( of the sensation, motivation, identity of a separate life abandoned self ) Love Union in Life. We are fearfully instructed into the search, the burden of feeling we have to make life happen, we have to make our-self happen, we have to make it happen for others…otherwise we are a failure.
The body is in synchronicity with Life, with Nature, not the mind. The mind is obsessed with itself. It is constantly creating concepts to put between You and Life. In the mind we inhabit a fictional world reality…a reality we cling to and argue for and fight for and insist others must accommodate in order for us to feel loved.
We get to know our self through the distortions of the mind, through the formulations of concepts we put between each other and Life.
I am sure we can all feel some kind of dissatisfaction, some kind of self-belittling, some kind of self-abuse within the demands and motivation of the conceptual inter-personal demands and expectations we feel we have to meet, we have to satisfy just to “get along”.
Understandably, because it is all foreign to the body that is in synchronicity with Life, with Nature, with Spirit, with Love. It is the mind that is not in synchronicity with Life, with Nature, with Spirit, with Love. This chronic body and mind disparity is the cause of our own lack of Integrity, our own completeness in and with Life.
I am trying to address that difference, reveal that difference, not wipe out our inter-woven human Life Fabric.
Most generally we are not inhabiting the body of Life, we inhabit the minds righteous belief, sense of an exclusive separate self-identity. This separate self-sensation must be Awake from itself, move beyond itself, if we are to truly be Love, to be in Love, in Life.
Fundamentally we are trying to appease our own self-induced isolated conscience with flattery, endless talk of self-experience, philosophical gibberish, spiritual gibberish and all kinds of spiritual redemptive practices……while all the time holding firmly to our self-centered, self-concerned, self-consciousness concept of self.
And in this endeavor we distort words like love and spirit and relationship and enlightenment for our own private motives, and yet, our words so often ill conceal our personal motives.
Our fearfully enforced, our frightfully socially brain-washed materialistic emotional dependence only further contracts us into a threatened dislocated from Life self.
We try to Live under the weight of conceptual materialistic laws and values and expectations thus always creating in us a feeling disposition of instability, un-certainty in our Self, competitiveness, self-survival, underlying threat, self-interest above truly listening and the altogether erasure of the Soul-Full Radiance of we could Enjoy.
Societies demand plays on and manipulates the egoic tendency in us, the tendency to hold onto a separate feeling self, to struggling for the survival of a factious independent from Life self. Societies demand has become our own demand and it provokes in us the need to control, to manipulate, to exert power over the material world and each other.
Society is a precariously held together shared psychotic disorder that is now normalized.
I am here for the Soul. Are You here for the Soul. For You and each other.
Or, are You still trying to pester each other to accommodate and satisfy You concept of Love, of Relationship of Companionship?
Do You want someone to make it happen for You? To fulfill Your concept of You, of Love.
Are You imposing Your concept of the other on them?
What do You want from the other?
I suggest we want the other to make something happen, to make us feel okay, worthy, loved.
Have You observed the underlying energy of want in Your conversation? The want for a certain performance, a want for something to happen, rather than the expressions of our Soul-Full Self.
I suggest, almost always, our conversations are for the sake of our need to be confirmed, to be reminded we are significant, valued, loved. We want the other to align themselves to our own concept of our self.
I suggest the Soul has no currency here, no currency in our society, in our motivations. Rather, the demands, the motivations of the ego construct, the worldly based identity of self is the currency. I do not have your currency…..and to even try to have that currency the rates of exchange are tantamount to thievery.